When you have kids, you have to understand their view of the world is not like an adult. Everything is coated in wonder and imagination. Not to mention limited vocabulary and no sense of fear.
It was close to 1:30 AM when I got up to pee. Having a bladder the size of a marble was a blessing this time because I hear my middle daughter talking and giggling. But she wasn’t in her room, she was in the livingroom. She must have been 2 at the time and she’s never without her trusty ‘Blankie’ – her blue flowered security blanket she drags with her everywhere she goes, even to this day. I come out of the bathroom and walk down the hall into the livingroom, and there’s my little one sitting on the floor with Blankie sprawled out in front of her.
“Honey, it’s too late to have a picnic.”
“No picnic, mama. I catched it!”
It’s dark. It’s late. I’m tired. There are things that you just don’t pick up on that early in the morning.
“You caught what?”
“It’s a puppy!!” she exclaimed.
Now, I know my kids. My middle one has quite the imagination. Hello: Blankie! And since we don’t own a dog, my assumption was this was a toy she was playing with and she just didn’t want to go to bed.
“Honey, it’s time for bed. Let’s go.”
“But mama, my puppy will be scared.”
“Take it to bed with you. It’s time for sleeping!”
Her face LIT UP. “I get to keep my puppy!” she sings. I lean down to pick up the blanket when I notice that it’s moving. IT’S FUCKING MOVING. I’m wide awake now! “Honey,” trying not to alarm my little kid, “what do you have under your blankie?”
“I told you. A puppy!”
Very slowly, I lifted the blanket and out runs A FUCKING MOUSE!
Needless to say, I had the exterminator out the very next day!
I love kids…..