The Sass is Strong with This One

One of the benefits to being a smart-ass is that there is little to rattle you. I can be a target for a lot of people because I am far from perfect. But I love me and I know who I am so there is little that shakes my tree.

It seems only fitting that my oldest (who has been officially dubbed, “Mouth”) is able to push my buttons! It’s a special little gift that she has. Last couple weeks, months really, she’s been ON ONE! I try and I try (and the Prozac REALLY tries) but I am starting to wear thin on the ol’ patience.

So we are at McDonald’s. I get wifi, they get to play. Getting them out of the house was a fight. Getting to McDonald’s, they fought in the car about who was going to get out first. Then they get out and fight in the walkway. I take them into the bathroom to set them straight and Mouth ROLLS HER EYES like she’s some tough shit. She’s 8.

OMG the restraint I showed!! “What in the HELL do you think you’re rolling your eyes at?? I INVENTED eye rolls and I’ll be damned if you are going to roll your eyes at me! THAT’S IT! YOU’RE IN TIME OUT!”

Time out is great for kids. It’s really effective — when they’re like 6. At 8, you just are not getting through. So, I had to improvise. Took away her little stuffed panda and told her she wasn’t getting it back until her behavior changed. DON’T YOU KNOW, HOMEGIRL ROLLED HER DAMN EYES AGAIN!

THAT’S IT!! WE’RE GOING HOME!!

Now, she’s cleaning the bathroom. Next will be sorting the recycling and then cleaning out the storage fridge. She’s hacked, boy.

I don’t know what’s going on with her lately. She’s a good kid. She has lots of friends at school and at her daycare. She’s usually very attentive and has been a great helper in the past. She always comes around too, apologizing for being a brat, but does it have to be such a battle every fucking day?!

I’m emotionally and physically exhausted.

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