Pinterest: Anti Cellulite Scrub

In my preparations for Hawaii, I came across this on Pinterest. I am a HUGE Pinterest supporter since I love¬†DIY anything. So, I saw this and thought, “Why the fuck not?”

Something¬†you need to know before you start: this is a BLOODY MESS! Sorry, but this picture doesn’t really convey that.

Now, when I did it, I changed the amounts because when I did the amounts of what it says, it totally wasn’t close to enough. There are 16 tbsp in a cup, so I just adjusted the amounts in direct proportion and it seemed to be fine. I also didn’t have sea salt.

So I mixed all the dry shit in a large bowl. Then mixed in the liquid shit. Got out my 32 oz mason jar and my mason jar funnel (I was just as surprised as you are that I even had one), and stuffed it all into the jar. My thinking was if I had leftovers then I could use it the next day – provided I liked the result.

Then I get into the bathroom, lean on the toilet, grab a handful and start rubbing all over. All over is right. All over the floor, the walls, the sink, the toilet, and hardly anything on my legs. I chalk it up to user error because….. well, who cares why. FYI: It doesn’t sweep up so good luck with that.

I moved my ass into the tub and finished up there. Still a mess but washing it all down the drain was (mostly) simple. I scrubbed my little heart out: calves, thighs, ass, hip, and even my little c-section pouch (no, guys, I will not explain what that means). It took a little bit of time, maybe 20 minutes, but it smells nice and feels really good. I didn’t care what the outcome would be because it really felt good scrubbing my fat around like that. Almost like I had blocked energy stored in my legs and this was letting it out. I can’t explain it (intellegently) so you’re just going to have to use your imagination.

Now you’re not supposed to wash like with soap after, just rinse it off. It feels a little slimey and strange but it smells nice so I was down. Then you pat yourself dry (don’t rub) and finish up with your fave lotion. I did this yesterday at about 10:30am and haven’t showered since and my legs are SO FRICKEN SOFT! It takes a consistant application and about a week to start noticing a difference in the cellulite but texture alone: I can’t stop touching my legs.

I don’t own a pair of shorts and so I cut a pair of my pants just so I could have a pair so I could touch my legs. You’re damn right I’m doing this again today! Holy crap! Total mess: totally worth it. Happy skin. I just may put this on my face.

No, not really. That’s my fucking face we’re talking about here.

Thank you all so much for reading my little blog! Please help me if you can to raise funds for my kids’ family reunion with my sister. You know my story. If you can contribute, thank you so much! If you can’t, please share my posts – maybe someone else can. Thank you thank you thank you!

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One thought on “Pinterest: Anti Cellulite Scrub

  1. Pingback: 4 Hacks for Self-Care while Broke | I'm Sorry, but a Mid-Life What?

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