Check-in Time

It’s now my fourth day and I’m feeling good. Yesterday wasn’t awesome. I had my first ‘cravings’ for my old way of eating when I bought brownies for my kids. No to mention that we went to McDonald’s for ice cream since the kids were so good all day … Let’s start there.

A Fat Chick Walks into McDonald’s

I went to McDs with my kids, right? I’m feeling pretty strong. I’m thinking I’m going to get my dollar diet coke and a chicken salad (their salads are pretty good). I’m feeling STRONG; I’m feeling DETERMINED; I’m feeling … FRIES! No, wait, what? No fries! I got my kids food, got my drink, and sat down. I kept thinking if I fuck up today, then the last 3 days have been for nothing. I have already lost 2 pounds. I’m going to fuck up for fries?? I THINK NOT!

Being brave again, I head over to the ordering kiosk (Why I can’t just give my order to humans, is beyond me. Really, McDonald’s, like you don’t pay your people shitty enough, now they have to give up their cashier jobs to a machine? I digress). I find the salad I want, and it turns out, it’s about $5.50. I’m sorry, what? I’m broke. I just fed the 800 kids I have. I have a budget that needs to be adhered to. I rationalized it as, “This one has chicken. It’s expensive. Let’s just get a side salad. That will be fine.”

So, I tap into the side salad and BOOM $2.50. Two dollars and fifty cents for a cup of lettuce, two cherry tomatoes, and a tablespoon of shredded carrots. Not even fucking cheese. I am so serious.

Then I get the idea to get a burger ‘protein style’ (sans bun, wrapped in lettuce). I go to the burger section, and they have all these fancy burgers for $6 and up, but I’m just looking for a low brow cheeseburger. They are a fucking dollar. Seriously? So, I customize the burger so there’s no bun and it’s, instead, wrapped in lettuce. THEY CHARGED ME $0.25 TO DO THAT!

You can’t make this shit up.

What is it? My weight is connected to my wallet? I knew things like organic and that shit, but I was having them save a bun and wrap my burger in a single leaf of lettuce, and I had gotten charged a quarter? How much do buns cost? Seriously? I don’t know how i feel about that other than the fury that comes up. It’s like someone has control over me, over my body? I’m not into this at all. Any who … I had my $1.25 burger and my $1.00 diet coke. Ugh. I was sick – with the idea. The burger was kick ass.

Then There was Grocery Shopping

I made the mistake of hitting the grocery store while I’m hungry. It’s not that I started out hungry. My car is down temporarily so I walk everywhere. So, me and my wagon haul ourselves down to the local store. When I got there, it was fine. I wasn’t hungry. Until the doors opened. Then the smell of rotisserie chicken and the bakery kicked in. OMG it was brilliant. I loved it. I didn’t want to leave without eating every last piece of baked bread and cake and cookie. I love food. But I got through it. It took a minute for me to get through it. I wanted to eat everything. Then I started walking back home with my wagon, 4 gallons of milk, and by the time I got back to the house, the want to eat everything was out of me omg. I didn’t want to do anything.

When you switch over to this type of eating, you get tired quick. Your energy isn’t instant like when you’re eating carbs – simple sugars and shit. That’s instant energy. Protein is more a slow burning energy source. It takes a minute to adjust to the new energy stores. I’m in the “I want to sleep all day” phase right now. It sucks that I can’t. Kids. Job. Avoiding Doctor Psycho.

What I have found, is that I’m returning to a state of what I call, “Toddler-ism”, you know where you run them until all their energy is gone, then they crash out? That’s me right now. I was chronically up all night. Sleeping just 2 or 3 hours at a time. Now, I’m so exhausted, not only am I getting to 4 hours at a time, I’m sleeping thoroughly. Like, I’m sleeping deep, dreaming, out like a light sleep.

It’s brilliant.

Today, being day four, was the first day in i don’t know how long, where I woke up rested. Up until this morning, I didn’t even remember what that word means:

R-E-S-T-E-D.

I thought it was a myth. Like good guys and one-size-fits-all.

But I woke up, got up, got the kids up, AND I was feeling good with a good mood. It was like the perfect morning. Then, of course, Doctor Psycho got up. But even that wasn’t as painful as normal.

Day 4 is Going Okay

Today is going pretty well. I brought my lunch to work. I ate my breakfast, and I have bourbon bbq marinating chicken for dinner tonight in the fridge! Greatest thing I found: Hard Boiled Eggs at the grocery store. Already boiled, in a bag, ready to go. Boom. Since I eat 2 eggs every  morning, this is a huge help. I got a pack of 6 for $2. They had a pack of 2, but that was $1, mind as well get the six pack one for $2.

The other thing I found which I have been using like NUTS is Oscar Meyer has this bacon bits of real actual bacon already cooked. Like you would put on salad, right? What I do, because I eat on the run and I don’t like the egg yokes, i open the hard boiled egg, take out the yoke, fill it with bacon, and shove it in my pie hole. Finger foods omelet.

So There it is

That’s where I am today. I have a little story for y’all in a bit. Other than that, cheerio! Shit. Now I want a bowl of cheerios.

Thank You So Much for Stopping by!

It’s your support that keeps me chasing my passions and writing about it. With your contributions, you’re not only helping me pursue my true self, but 25% of the funds raised are donated to the SurfRider Foundation. It’s the small contributions that will also help fund the next trip to Hawaii as to to start connecting to our future there. Also, if you can, please give me a follow on Twitter or Instagram.¬†Thank you all again so very much!

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Project Mama

Just me.

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