5 Ways I am Changing My World

As you all know, I’ve been going through a bit of a shake up. The ending of my 16-year relationship, trying to maintain some type of civilly between myself and my kids’ dad, fighting my worst frienemy, ‘Depression’, and having to move back in with my ma where my OCD/ sociopath of a sister lives, has presented more than a challenge and added a huge source of stress.

My world has fallen apart. I am (metaphorically) dying.

I have two competing options in my head right now:

  1. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues  – why fight it? Give in to the depression, lie in the bed all day, and do nothing. Eventually, things will sort themselves out.  Eat the fucking brownie; it always has loved me. And I it.
  2. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues – why fight it? Why waste the energy right now on things I can’t control and focus on things I can control? I can’t stop my sister from being a total fucking nut-job. I can control how much I am exposed to her insanity. I can’t control the fact that I have to live at my ma’s right now. I can control how long that has to be by sorting out my options, finding a job, etc. I can’t control how my ex is going to behave, but I can control how I react to that behavior.

I decided to choose option number two. FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL. So, I decided I am going to change my world. Here are 5 ways I’m doing it.  Continue reading

The Living Aloha Campaign

I said I would let you know once it was live so here it is! We are running a t-shirt campaign for the next 3 weeks to help spread the word about Living Aloha!! I know! I am SO EXCITED! It’s though Bonfire  <– there’s the link. 🙂 The profits go towards maintaining this blog, moving things towards ‘My True Self’ and of course 25% goes to the surfrider foundation to help protect our delicate coastlines.

Get a great t-shirt, help someone out. How great is that??

Thank you so much for reading my blog! It’s your support that keeps me chasing my passions and writing about it. With your contributions, you’re helping me pursue not only my true self, but 25% of the funds raised are donated to the SurfRider Foundation. It’s the small contributions that will also help fund the next trip to Hawaii in October 2017 as so to start connecting to our future there. Thank you all again so very much!

Living Aloha: A Brilliant Philosophy

While in Hawaii, I was greeted and treated by the most wonderful people. They were open and wonderful to a stranger (me) and was unconditional with their kindness. Not to mention my brilliant sister and my brilliant brother-in-law… they are truly an example of the best people I have ever known. There is one thing that has really stayed with me: Aloha. Continue reading

Depression Crafts: The Timer

I’ve been fighting depression for years now. There were times where I wouldn’t shower for weeks. I was a zombie. Though I am on Prozac now, I still struggle with some stuff. I shower now – on a regular basis (yay me) – and I take the kids out to the park pretty often. The Prozac really is pulling it’s weight here with me, but I still struggle with motivation, consistency, and what I call the ‘fuck it’ solution.

In this time, as I’ve been getting mentally stronger, I have been making a list of things that make me happy. I don’t mean like funnel cake happy, but little things that I can do every day to remind myself that life doesn’t suck, it’s mostly the depression. One thing I always enjoyed was doing my make-up.

In this case, I have to thank Jeremy Renner for the inspiration for today’s craft. What you may not know is he used to be a make-up artist. I didn’t know either! Then he was on Ellen… THEN this beautiful meme came out and found it’s way to me.  Continue reading

Introducing: Tending My Garden

I don’t want to hate everything; I want to feel like myself.

Have you looked in the mirror only to be like, “How the fuck did I get here?” I do believe that your physical life is just a reflection of what kind of state your inner self is in. I don’t know what you call that – or even if it has a definitive name – but that’s what I think.

I also know that fighting depression is one of the hardest things someone can do. Drugs, drinking, are both things that are very difficult to fight. I have come to understand those things are used as ways to self-treat mental conditions, depression for instance. See what I did there?

Well, I want to fight back. I’ve been on prozac for 5 months now and I’m feeling pretty strong, emotionally. I want to move forward with my life. I have a long road ahead of me but I’m going to set things in motion today. I cannot wait. I’m going to start making this a regular subject in my blog. And if there is someone (or someones) who want to do the same thing, cheers! We’ll do that together.

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And to make it a little more interesting, I’m going to add in little prizes here and there for weekly goals. I thought tthat I would share that with everyone. I’m calling it: Tending My Garden (TMG). 🙂 Really, you reap what you sow and what better investment to make than in yourself.

I’m not just talking about physical health – I mean, that’s part of it for me, at least – but I’m talking about growing yourself into your best self.

I’m going to focus on 3 major points:

  1. Nutrition – what’s the point of taking care of yourself if you’re just going to abuse it with food?
  2. Working out – I am going to use a combination of weight training and cardio.
  3. Meditation – I don’t mean just sitting in a quiet room thinking. Mediation can happen while you’re doing anything that makes  you completely wholey happy.

I’m not an expert. The only thing I can tell you is how I’m going to do it. Everyone is different and what I’m doing for me may not be good for you. But I think we can all agree that eating a bit better, moving a bit more, and spending time doing things we like are all good ideas.

Unless you like doing heroin. I don’t think that is a good idea.

Anyway! Over the next couple days I will be banging out my little plan for everyone if you’re curious or if you want to participate just comment below. I am excited!

Thank you so much for reading my blog! It’s your support that keeps me chasing my passions and writing about it. With your contributions, you’re helping me pursue not only my true self, but 25% of the funds raised are donated to the SurfRider Foundation. It’s the small contributions that will also help fund the next trip to Hawaii in October 2017 as so to start connecting to our future there. Thank you all again so very much!

How My Sister Makes Me A Good Parent…

Or at least better than I was yesterday.

My kids are a little nuts. Something that’s a problem in our home is consistancy. I say one thing, their dad says something else and then the kids learn (have learned – and well) to go to him when they want easy and go to me when they want emotional support. I hate that.

My sister (who is a briliant family therapist) turned me onto a program made by a doctor called 1-2-3 Magic! and it makes one hell of a difference. Continue reading