The Trip to the ER: a story

When it comes to medical concern, after having 3 kids, I don’t scare easy. I’ve been witness to stitches, seizures, emergency life-saving surgery, eye surgery, allergies from light and grass, and countless infections and viruses that could leave even the most seasoned doctor nauseated.

My youngest had a cough. The word ‘cough’ doesn’t really, truly explain it. She had a cough.

It takes quite a bit to rattle me – medically – so when I got concerned over this cough, I ran with my motherly intuition all the way to the ER.

I understood going there, that my daughter’s cough was not at the high-end of the triage spectrum, so we came prepared to wait, armed with her tablet, coloring books, toys, blanket, and snacks. My 3yo weighed in at an impressive 49 pounds and – hacking away – we waited patiently to be called in.

We saw the nurse for the triage interview and all of a sudden, my 3yo heals up, no coughing, she was dancing and laughing, and talking to everyone. I told the nurse, “I swear she’s sick!” I don’t think he believed me. “Really! I took a video!”

“You can save that for the doctor.” He said dryly. F*** you too.

We finally get called in (I anticipated the wait so I wasn’t tripping about it), and sit in our little room. Since it’s an ER, they aren’t like rooms, they are areas that are separated by curtains, right? So whatever is going on in the curtain-room next to you, you’re going to hear. For instance: The woman who was violently vomiting. Or the man who was having a dementia breakdown. For me, these things are not an issue (again, it takes a lot to startle me medically), however, to my little 3yo who is already not well, she was in auditory hell.

The doctor was quick and to the point. She listened to my kid’s lungs and asked her questions, etc. I said the same thing I told you guys, “Look, I have 3 kids. It takes a lot to rattle me medically so when I heard her coughing like this *cue the video* I thought it absolutely necessary to bring her in.” I thought the cough – coupled with the fever and odd breathing patterns – indicated pneumonia.

Dr Lady watched my little video and smiled. “Thank you for this video, it was a huge help.” I thought she was being condecending at first. She went on to explain that the barking cough (how she described it) is actually a symtom of a viral respitory infection called croup. WTF is that? I have 3 kids and there’s a medical condition that I hadn’t heard of? Seemed unlikely. She said it’s a self-resolving condition, takes about 3 or 4 days to clear up, and since it doesn’t respond to antibiotics (virus), we just needed to focus on keeping the symtoms at bay.

My kid got a dose of steroids to help with the inflamation and then was put on an abuterol breathing treatment to ease the breathing while this cough is hanging around.

The respitory therapist (RT) came into the room a few minutes later to administer the breathing treatment. He brought a student RT with him, who was so nice and patient. My kid, who was feeling better already from the steroids, liked the student and they were having fun while I was speaking with the RT, who was preparing the dose.

Out the corner of my eye, I see my kid hold out her ET finger – you know: “ooouuuccchhh” – and I tried my best to intervene, I swear! But it was too late. Seeing the look on the student’s face explained everything: My kid put her finger in her butt and made the student smell it.

It was like watching an accident happening or slow-mo sports clip, because she’s been doing this shit a lot lately! NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! By then it was too late. The student horrifyingly looked at me. All I could muster to say was:

“She really spends too much time with her father.”


I have not been kidnapped…

Not by bad people anyways. It's my children. Send Clorox wipes, pizza, and endless wine.

I know I've been MIA for a bit – sorry about that – but I'm going to fill you all in, once I can get the smell out of my nose.

What smell you ask?

I miss you guys!

5 Ways I am Changing My World

As you all know, I’ve been going through a bit of a shake up. The ending of my 16-year relationship, trying to maintain some type of civilly between myself and my kids’ dad, fighting my worst frienemy, ‘Depression’, and having to move back in with my ma where my OCD/ sociopath of a sister lives, has presented more than a challenge and added a huge source of stress.

My world has fallen apart. I am (metaphorically) dying.

I have two competing options in my head right now:

  1. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues  – why fight it? Give in to the depression, lie in the bed all day, and do nothing. Eventually, things will sort themselves out.  Eat the fucking brownie; it always has loved me. And I it.
  2. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues – why fight it? Why waste the energy right now on things I can’t control and focus on things I can control? I can’t stop my sister from being a total fucking nut-job. I can control how much I am exposed to her insanity. I can’t control the fact that I have to live at my ma’s right now. I can control how long that has to be by sorting out my options, finding a job, etc. I can’t control how my ex is going to behave, but I can control how I react to that behavior.

I decided to choose option number two. FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL. So, I decided I am going to change my world. Here are 5 ways I’m doing it.  Continue reading

Assholes of Camping

So I went camping over the weekend with my kids and my Ma. The campsite had a splash pad for kids to play on.

Well there were two little boys (maybe 5 and 7-ish) playing on the geysers. The 5-year-old pissed off the 7-year-old because the 7 year old jumped on the 5 year old, pushed him down, put one hand on his neck and his other hand over his mouth and nose. I didn’t see the hands at this point. I had shouted at the kids, “Hey!” There were 6 adults RIGHT THERE, no one stopped anything. When the kids still didn’t disengage (for lack of a better word), I trotted over there and saw what was exactly going on. I pitched a FIT, full banshee mode, pulled the kids apart, and was like, “where’s your mom??” No answer. The little kid was shaking like a leaf, totally terrified, couldn’t even speak. I bring him back to my little picnic spot, get him a towel, give him some food, and just let him be in a safe little environment. Continue reading

Let me tell you about a hero

Things have been tight – you all know that. I have been spending a decent amount of time at the McDonald’s so the kids can play, I can get my dollar diet coke, and I can work on my resume and job searches in peace.

Since it’s quite a bit tough, I had just enough today for my drink (so we don’t get kicked out for loitering), and the kids got their water cups.

Things were winding down, and the kids whining for dinner, so I started packing up my things to take them home for dinner when I came face to face with a hero. Continue reading

How My Sister Makes Me A Good Parent…

Or at least better than I was yesterday.

My kids are a little nuts. Something that’s a problem in our home is consistancy. I say one thing, their dad says something else and then the kids learn (have learned – and well) to go to him when they want easy and go to me when they want emotional support. I hate that.

My sister (who is a briliant family therapist) turned me onto a program made by a doctor called 1-2-3 Magic! and it makes one hell of a difference. Continue reading

5 Things they don’t tell you when you have kids

Kids are great. There’s something wonderful from having your kids come around you and just love you.

Kids are nuts. And if you’re one of those people who don’t like chaos, don’t have kids. No, having kids is not like having a dog. It’s like having a kleptomaniac octopus who cries all the time. And throws things. And hugs you.


Continue reading