Hawaii Day 3

Omg there’s so much to update you all on! I will write it all up but for right now, I just want to share a couple pictures and to mention what a fucking difference your environment makes. 

Even if I never hit a beach, even if I never stepped out of the house, the peace I have found here is indescribable. I am at ease, focused, and getting inspiration everywhere I look. 

I cannot wait to move here! 

Anyway! Onto pictures!


I’m off to go continue my personal search of my muse and discover myself again. 🙂 

Thank you so much for reading my blog! I am fund raising for my kids to get to do everything they want to on our trip, if you can contribute, it would be greatly appreciate it! If you can’t, please share my posts etc- maybe someone else can. Thank you and Mahalo!! 

How I manifested $600+ for our trip

First, there has to be an understanding of what that means to manifest money. It doesn’t just come in the form of cash but also coupons, gifts, discounts, etc – there’s an unlimited number of ways money can come to you. 

As you have known, I’ve been trying to raise funds for my kids trip (for $600); yesterday I even posted how I felt a little let down by the people who already said would help but then didn’t. I was feeling like I was going to let my kids down. 

I had been posting on FB stuff to sell to help raise funds since mid march. One thing that’s been on there this whole time were a pair of crutches that I couldn’t unload. I lowered the price down to $10 but nothing. Well, I made my intention on Tuesday, Wednesday a lady called and said she wanted them for the list price of $15! Turned out I changed the price on all the groups I posted in except for the one this lady was on! Sweet! 

Then, my ex OUT OF NO WHERE wakes me up in the morning to give me a check for $200. He was mean when he gave it to me (“this is so you can feed the fucking kids so don’t spend it on bullshit!” Is what he actually yelled at me. But again, this money was completely unsolicited!). 

Then I get to my ma’s house last night and we are talking about our plan. I told her that I’m looking forward to all the on the beach time and hiking we’re going to be doing. She lets me know that my sister paid for a luau one night ($60 a person and I have 4 people = $240: bringing the manifest up to $455). She said my sister also paid for a tour of Honolulu ($30×4=$120+$455=$575)! I was like what?! I didn’t know all that!

After that, I was making arrangements for my friend to drive us to the airport – my Ma said she would pay for the parking and just leave the car at the airport ($575+$75=$650). THEN my Ma surprised us with pizza dinner last night when I was getting my things together to buy dinner ($650+$15= $665). 

Thank you thank you thank you!! 

I was sweating the fund raiser so much. Tuesday, when I made my intention, I said to myself, “fuck the fund raiser. It doesn’t matter if I raise money, as long as I get to be out in Hawaii with my sister. ” After that, all this abundance just came flooding in! 

I am so grateful for all that I have recieved! I get amazed every time of what can manifest. I am in awe of the Universe. 

I gotta get loading shit up for HAWAII! I will chat with you all in about a week. 

Thank you so much for reading my little blog! If you can contribute, it would be greatly appreciated! If you can’t, please share; maybe someone else can. Either way, I’m just grateful and thankful you stopped by to hang out with me. 

Hawaii Bound!

My prelim Hawaii trip is just about here! In 18 hours, I will be on a white-sand beach, sipping mai-tais and listening to the waves. I AM SO EXCITED!

My wonderful sister and her husband bought the tickets for us to go out there. My ex doesn’t assist me at all so I was COMPLETELY SHOCKED when he left me $200 for the trip. I am truly thankful and grateful for that gesture from him especially since it’s been so hard at the house.

I am a little disappointed that my fund raising didn’t go as planned. I will keep with it, give it some more time and have it help with going to visit my sister again next year. When I told my friends that we were breaking up, they all were talking like they will help me and to call them if I ever needed anything… not one person contributed. Not one. I understand that it’s hard right now for everyone and I’m not hating; I was just a little shocked. With how everyone was talking with the support and love, when not one person helped when I asked … it’s making me double think my entire list of friendships.

My story isn’t a new one. A stay at home mom – who really has nothing – is stuck in a tough place being without a job, without a safety net, because she depended on her man too much. I understand I’m in this position because I thought my boyfriend was always going to be invested in our family. I have to get out of this position – I understand that too. I am working on getting a job, moving, getting situated, and still trying to be supportive and patient with the kids, even though I am SO STRESSED (Thank you Prozac). I thought that the people that I know – that I call my friends – would follow through with the help they already had offered to help me with.

It makes me feel even more isolated than I really anticipated.

However, the anticipated smell of the sea and the singing and ramblings of my nephews makes me feel so brilliant! I can’t wait! It’s going to be brilliant! My sister planned out this whole trip! The first night is down time with my nephews. Saturday, we go to the house my sister rented on the beach for the holiday weekend! There, we will do a luau, hiking, and beach time. We get back to her house Monday and will have a quiet evening until the Haunted Honolulu tour starts! 😀 Tuesday we will pay our respects at Pearl Harbor and then after, pay our respects at the site of my neice (my sister’s first child was stillborn and is laid to rest on Oahu). We will be doing some more afternoon hiking. Wednesday, we are hiking again and going to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. 😀 Then we come home Thursday.

Bonus: it’s supposed to rain on Oahu all weekend. HAHAHA I gotta tell you, I am so looking forward to it! I live in Southern California. Rain in only a theory here the last couple years.

I am leaving the computer at home this trip. Though I will have my iPhone, I am going to stay as unconnected as I can. I will catch everyone up when I get back.

ALOHA! MAMA IS HAWAII BOUND!

How I Organize my Chaos

I have a problem. Me.

Ever since the break-up, I have been in disarray. I have been trying to get focused and sorted but it falls flat. Creating a schedule has helped me quite a bit to stay focused and push out the paralysis that comes with depression. The Prozac totally helps with that too! I keep refining my process to find a better way – a more efficient way – of creating my schedule without losing the interest. After a couple tries, I think I found it! Yay me. Continue reading