It’s been one week since I was kicked out of the home I’ve lived at for 5 years. How are things? Fucking BRILLIANT!
**This article was updated 03/21/18**
As a 41 yo asshole, I cringe at the title of this article, too. ‘Phat’ is not my favorite word, but either is ‘fat’ so I think they compliment themselves perfectly. As you all know, my little world has been shaken up this year. Though, I would like to think I have my shit in order, considering my physical condition is a manifestation of my emotional state. What’s a good term for me to use to describe how I feel I look? Dumpy.
I am officially the 8th Dwarf. Continue reading Fat to Phat: The Start
Or at least better than I was yesterday.
My kids are a little nuts. Something that’s a problem in our home is consistancy. I say one thing, their dad says something else and then the kids learn (have learned – and well) to go to him when they want easy and go to me when they want emotional support. I hate that.
My sister (who is a briliant family therapist) turned me onto a program made by a doctor called 1-2-3 Magic! and it makes one hell of a difference. Continue reading How My Sister Makes Me A Good Parent…
Happy Memorial Day everyone! Hawaii has a wonderful atmosphere to honor those military personnel who lost their lives. It was really wonderful.
Today turned out to be a great self-discovery day. My sister, her family, and my family all went on a hike. I use her term ‘hike’ when it was really ‘the journey through hell.’ It was a mile but straight up! my brother in law did it in fucking flip flops so now I’m convinced he’s a superhero.
Turns out I’m a bit more out of shape than my previous ideas.
We got to the top damn it! Totally worth it. And there was a pleasant surprise waiting at the top: a World War II anti-aircraft bunker! It was in incredible condition!
That’s me in the pink plaid. It was brilliant! I became very aware of my physical condition this trip. Maybe it was Devine intervention to really get me to accept my current status, but while in the bunker, there was graffiti that said, “Big Laura.”
I thought it would be neat to find my name in all that graffiti – I wasn’t nearly as excited once I found it. But the first step in solving any problem is admitting that there is one so– that’s the universe showing me that there is a problem.
I got some great one on one time with my sister so far. ❤️ I love her so much and it sucks being so far away from her.
On this hike from hell, I wanted to give up 8,000 times. My sister wouldn’t let me. I could rest and I could grab water but I couldn’t just quit. Her husband and the kids were all helpful and encouraging and thoughtful. They showed me not just what I means to be kind but what it means to take no shit. I didn’t know there was a better way to take no shit – I thought I was queen of that!
Over all, the trip has been surpassing every point of bliss for me. My kids are a little home sick. And my Ma has a hard time with all the humidity but other than that, it’s been an amazing experience! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for tomorrow!!
I’m heading to bed. It’s 1015pm here and I am ready!
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My prelim Hawaii trip is just about here! In 18 hours, I will be on a white-sand beach, sipping mai-tais and listening to the waves. I AM SO EXCITED!
My wonderful sister and her husband bought the tickets for us to go out there. My ex doesn’t assist me at all so I was COMPLETELY SHOCKED when he left me $200 for the trip. I am truly thankful and grateful for that gesture from him especially since it’s been so hard at the house.
I am a little disappointed that my fund raising didn’t go as planned. I will keep with it, give it some more time and have it help with going to visit my sister again next year. When I told my friends that we were breaking up, they all were talking like they will help me and to call them if I ever needed anything… not one person contributed. Not one. I understand that it’s hard right now for everyone and I’m not hating; I was just a little shocked. With how everyone was talking with the support and love, when not one person helped when I asked … it’s making me double think my entire list of friendships.
My story isn’t a new one. A stay at home mom – who really has nothing – is stuck in a tough place being without a job, without a safety net, because she depended on her man too much. I understand I’m in this position because I thought my boyfriend was always going to be invested in our family. I have to get out of this position – I understand that too. I am working on getting a job, moving, getting situated, and still trying to be supportive and patient with the kids, even though I am SO STRESSED (Thank you Prozac). I thought that the people that I know – that I call my friends – would follow through with the help they already had offered to help me with.
It makes me feel even more isolated than I really anticipated.
However, the anticipated smell of the sea and the singing and ramblings of my nephews makes me feel so brilliant! I can’t wait! It’s going to be brilliant! My sister planned out this whole trip! The first night is down time with my nephews. Saturday, we go to the house my sister rented on the beach for the holiday weekend! There, we will do a luau, hiking, and beach time. We get back to her house Monday and will have a quiet evening until the Haunted Honolulu tour starts! 😀 Tuesday we will pay our respects at Pearl Harbor and then after, pay our respects at the site of my neice (my sister’s first child was stillborn and is laid to rest on Oahu). We will be doing some more afternoon hiking. Wednesday, we are hiking again and going to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. 😀 Then we come home Thursday.
Bonus: it’s supposed to rain on Oahu all weekend. HAHAHA I gotta tell you, I am so looking forward to it! I live in Southern California. Rain in only a theory here the last couple years.
I am leaving the computer at home this trip. Though I will have my iPhone, I am going to stay as unconnected as I can. I will catch everyone up when I get back.
ALOHA! MAMA IS HAWAII BOUND!