Living Aloha: A Brilliant Philosophy

While in Hawaii, I was greeted and treated by the most wonderful people. They were open and wonderful to a stranger (me) and was unconditional with their kindness. Not to mention my brilliant sister and my brilliant brother-in-law… they are truly an example of the best people I have ever known. There is one thing that has really stayed with me: Aloha. Continue reading

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Hawaii day 4

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Hawaii has a wonderful atmosphere to honor those military personnel who lost their lives. It was really wonderful. 

Today turned out to be a great self-discovery day. My sister, her family, and my family all went on a hike. I use her term ‘hike’ when it was really ‘the journey through hell.’ It was a mile but straight up! my brother in law did it in fucking flip flops so now I’m convinced he’s a superhero. 

Turns out I’m a bit more out of shape than my previous ideas. 


We got to the top damn it! Totally worth it. And there was a pleasant surprise waiting at the top: a World War II anti-aircraft bunker! It was in incredible condition! 


That’s me in the pink plaid. It was brilliant! I became very aware of my physical condition this trip. Maybe it was Devine intervention to really get me to accept my current status, but while in the bunker, there was graffiti that said, “Big Laura.” 


I thought it would be neat to find my name in all that graffiti – I wasn’t nearly as excited once I found it. But the first step in solving any problem is admitting that there is one so– that’s the universe showing me that there is a problem. 

I got some great one on one time with my sister so far. ❤️ I love her so much and it sucks being so far away from her. 


But she made me realize that I can do anything. I can climb a mountain in Hawaii if I want to! It’s just a matter of continuing after your body wants to quit. 

On this hike from hell, I wanted to give up 8,000 times. My sister wouldn’t let me. I could rest and I could grab water but I couldn’t just quit. Her husband and the kids were all helpful and encouraging and thoughtful. They showed me not just what I means to be kind but what it means to take no shit. I didn’t know there was a better way to take no shit – I thought I was queen of that! 

Over all, the trip has been surpassing every point of bliss for me. My kids are a little home sick. And my Ma has a hard time with all the humidity but other than that, it’s been an amazing experience! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for tomorrow!! 

I’m heading to bed. It’s 1015pm here and I am ready! 

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Hawaii Day 3

Omg there’s so much to update you all on! I will write it all up but for right now, I just want to share a couple pictures and to mention what a fucking difference your environment makes. 

Even if I never hit a beach, even if I never stepped out of the house, the peace I have found here is indescribable. I am at ease, focused, and getting inspiration everywhere I look. 

I cannot wait to move here! 

Anyway! Onto pictures!


I’m off to go continue my personal search of my muse and discover myself again. 🙂 

Thank you so much for reading my blog! I am fund raising for my kids to get to do everything they want to on our trip, if you can contribute, it would be greatly appreciate it! If you can’t, please share my posts etc- maybe someone else can. Thank you and Mahalo!! 

Hawaii Bound!

My prelim Hawaii trip is just about here! In 18 hours, I will be on a white-sand beach, sipping mai-tais and listening to the waves. I AM SO EXCITED!

My wonderful sister and her husband bought the tickets for us to go out there. My ex doesn’t assist me at all so I was COMPLETELY SHOCKED when he left me $200 for the trip. I am truly thankful and grateful for that gesture from him especially since it’s been so hard at the house.

I am a little disappointed that my fund raising didn’t go as planned. I will keep with it, give it some more time and have it help with going to visit my sister again next year. When I told my friends that we were breaking up, they all were talking like they will help me and to call them if I ever needed anything… not one person contributed. Not one. I understand that it’s hard right now for everyone and I’m not hating; I was just a little shocked. With how everyone was talking with the support and love, when not one person helped when I asked … it’s making me double think my entire list of friendships.

My story isn’t a new one. A stay at home mom – who really has nothing – is stuck in a tough place being without a job, without a safety net, because she depended on her man too much. I understand I’m in this position because I thought my boyfriend was always going to be invested in our family. I have to get out of this position – I understand that too. I am working on getting a job, moving, getting situated, and still trying to be supportive and patient with the kids, even though I am SO STRESSED (Thank you Prozac). I thought that the people that I know – that I call my friends – would follow through with the help they already had offered to help me with.

It makes me feel even more isolated than I really anticipated.

However, the anticipated smell of the sea and the singing and ramblings of my nephews makes me feel so brilliant! I can’t wait! It’s going to be brilliant! My sister planned out this whole trip! The first night is down time with my nephews. Saturday, we go to the house my sister rented on the beach for the holiday weekend! There, we will do a luau, hiking, and beach time. We get back to her house Monday and will have a quiet evening until the Haunted Honolulu tour starts! 😀 Tuesday we will pay our respects at Pearl Harbor and then after, pay our respects at the site of my neice (my sister’s first child was stillborn and is laid to rest on Oahu). We will be doing some more afternoon hiking. Wednesday, we are hiking again and going to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. 😀 Then we come home Thursday.

Bonus: it’s supposed to rain on Oahu all weekend. HAHAHA I gotta tell you, I am so looking forward to it! I live in Southern California. Rain in only a theory here the last couple years.

I am leaving the computer at home this trip. Though I will have my iPhone, I am going to stay as unconnected as I can. I will catch everyone up when I get back.

ALOHA! MAMA IS HAWAII BOUND!

Progress, Not Perfection

I really try everyday to keep things moving forward. This break-up but still living in the same house really wears you down after a while. Imagine: living with the person you are in love with and have been in love with the last 16 years, but knowing not only do they not love you back, they think and treat you like a piece of shit. Bonus is that you still have to be stable and level for your kids.

And I’ve been living through that since January. It sucks.  Continue reading