How My Sister Makes Me A Good Parent…

Or at least better than I was yesterday.

My kids are a little nuts. Something that’s a problem in our home is consistancy. I say one thing, their dad says something else and then the kids learn (have learned – and well) to go to him when they want easy and go to me when they want emotional support. I hate that.

My sister (who is a briliant family therapist) turned me onto a program made by a doctor called 1-2-3 Magic! and it makes one hell of a difference. Continue reading

5 Things they don’t tell you when you have kids

Kids are great. There’s something wonderful from having your kids come around you and just love you.

Kids are nuts. And if you’re one of those people who don’t like chaos, don’t have kids. No, having kids is not like having a dog. It’s like having a kleptomaniac octopus who cries all the time. And throws things. And hugs you.


Continue reading

Hawaii Day 3

Omg there’s so much to update you all on! I will write it all up but for right now, I just want to share a couple pictures and to mention what a fucking difference your environment makes. 

Even if I never hit a beach, even if I never stepped out of the house, the peace I have found here is indescribable. I am at ease, focused, and getting inspiration everywhere I look. 

I cannot wait to move here! 

Anyway! Onto pictures!

I’m off to go continue my personal search of my muse and discover myself again. ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Thank you so much for reading my blog! I am fund raising for my kids to get to do everything they want to on our trip, if you can contribute, it would be greatly appreciate it! If you can’t, please share my posts etc- maybe someone else can. Thank you and Mahalo!! 

Hawaii Bound!

My prelim Hawaii trip is just about here! In 18 hours, I will be on a white-sand beach, sipping mai-tais and listening to the waves. I AM SO EXCITED!

My wonderful sister and her husband bought the tickets for us to go out there. My ex doesn’t assist me at all so I was COMPLETELY SHOCKED when he left me $200 for the trip. I am truly thankful and grateful for that gesture from him especially since it’s been so hard at the house.

I am a little disappointed thatย my fund raising didn’t go as planned. I will keep with it, give it some more time and have it help with going to visit my sister again next year. When I told my friends that we were breaking up, they all were talking like they will help me and to call them if I ever needed anything… not one person contributed. Not one. I understand that it’s hard right now for everyone and I’m not hating; I was just a little shocked. With how everyone was talking with the support and love, when not one person helped when I asked … it’s making me double think my entire list of friendships.

My story isn’t a new one. A stay at home mom – who really has nothing – is stuck in a tough place being without a job, without a safety net, because she depended on her man too much. I understand I’m in this position because I thought my boyfriend was always going to be invested in our family. I have to get out of this position – I understand that too. I am working on getting a job, moving, getting situated, and still trying to be supportive and patient with the kids, even though I am SO STRESSED (Thank you Prozac). I thought that the people that I know – that I call my friends – would follow through with the help they already had offered to help me with.

It makes me feel even more isolated than I really anticipated.

However, the anticipated smell of the sea and the singing and ramblings of my nephews makes me feel so brilliant! I can’t wait! It’s going to be brilliant! My sister planned out this whole trip! The first night is down time with my nephews. Saturday, we go to the house my sister rented on the beach for the holiday weekend! There, we will do a luau, hiking, and beach time. We get back to her house Monday and will have a quiet evening until the Haunted Honolulu tour starts! ๐Ÿ˜€ Tuesday we will pay our respects at Pearl Harbor and then after, pay our respects at the site of my neice (my sister’s first child was stillborn and is laid to rest on Oahu). We will be doing some more afternoon hiking. Wednesday, we are hiking again and going to the Dole Pineapple Plantation. ๐Ÿ˜€ Then we come home Thursday.

Bonus: it’s supposed to rain on Oahu all weekend. HAHAHA I gotta tell you, I am so looking forward to it! I live in Southern California. Rain in only a theory here the last couple years.

I am leaving the computer at home this trip. Though I will have my iPhone, I am going to stay as unconnected as I can. I will catch everyone up when I get back.


I don’t know WTF

So I thought to use the toilet. I know, I have a 3yo and should know better. I hear little foot steps walking all around the house, “mama. Mama. Mama.” I call to her from the restroom, “I’ll be out in a minute.” I should’ve known it was already too late. I hear her approach the bathroom saying, “I sah- wee mama. I veh-wee sah-wee.” She comes into the bathroom: she looked just like a naked smurf. 

“WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!” That’s when I noticed the blue foot prints leading into the bathroom. “DONT TOUCH ANYTHING!” 

I finish in the restroom, pick her up and stick her in the bathtub, and follow the foot prints to their origin- which wasn’t easy because she walked ALL OVER THE HOUSE. 

I realized that the beginnings of this disaster was in my room. “Oh no please God…” I pleaded but it was useless – I already knew. 

One of the drawbacks to being an artist is that I ALWAYS have paint out. 

At least it was in my favorite color. And I always wanted to practice cussing to myself for 3 hours hunched over a carpet cleaner covered in paint. 

Thank you so much for reading my little blog! I do need to ask for some help. I’m trying to raise funds to take my kids to meet my sister for the first time and could really use some help if it’s possible. Even if you can’t donate, if you could share my blog/ posts, that would be a great help. Thank you all so very much!

Quiet Babies are Trouble

When my 7yo was 1, she was pretty quiet. Not quite the talker she is now, but she was always curious.

I came home from work one day and her dad and her were MIA – no where to be found. He wasn’t working at the time so he spent the days with the kids. For me, he would take lots and lots of pictures and leave them in the camera for me to go through when I got home from work. I loved it.

It wasn’t unusual for them to be gone; he liked to take them to the lake or the park … anything to get out of the house.

I’m flipping through the pictures one by one and they’re pretty typical. Kids eating, taking a bath, posing on the sofa, etc. Basic stuff. Until I got to the last one.

My mouth dropped open. I had to blink 100 times to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. It took 5 full minutes for me to be able to speak, and even then, all I could muster up was a weak, “What the fuck?!”

I’m not totally sure why she was IN the toilet… nonetheless, there she was, sitting inside the toilet, happy as a pig in shit.

I threw out the outfit she was wearing and she took a 3-hour bath AS SOON AS she got home.