Depression Crafts: The Timer

I’ve been fighting depression for years now. There were times where I wouldn’t shower for weeks. I was a zombie. Though I am on Prozac now, I still struggle with some stuff. I shower now – on a regular basis (yay me) – and I take the kids out to the park pretty often. The Prozac really is pulling it’s weight here with me, but I still struggle with motivation, consistency, and what I call the ‘fuck it’ solution.

In this time, as I’ve been getting mentally stronger, I have been making a list of things that make me happy. I don’t mean like funnel cake happy, but little things that I can do every day to remind myself that life doesn’t suck, it’s mostly the depression. One thing I always enjoyed was doing my make-up.

In this case, I have to thank Jeremy Renner for the inspiration for today’s craft. What you may not know is he used to be a make-up artist. I didn’t know either! Then he was on Ellen… THEN this beautiful meme came out and found it’s way to me.  Continue reading

Introducing: Tending My Garden

I don’t want to hate everything; I want to feel like myself.

Have you looked in the mirror only to be like, “How the fuck did I get here?” I do believe that your physical life is just a reflection of what kind of state your inner self is in. I don’t know what you call that – or even if it has a definitive name – but that’s what I think.

I also know that fighting depression is one of the hardest things someone can do. Drugs, drinking, are both things that are very difficult to fight. I have come to understand those things are used as ways to self-treat mental conditions, depression for instance. See what I did there?

Well, I want to fight back. I’ve been on prozac for 5 months now and I’m feeling pretty strong, emotionally. I want to move forward with my life. I have a long road ahead of me but I’m going to set things in motion today. I cannot wait. I’m going to start making this a regular subject in my blog. And if there is someone (or someones) who want to do the same thing, cheers! We’ll do that together.

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And to make it a little more interesting, I’m going to add in little prizes here and there for weekly goals. I thought tthat I would share that with everyone. I’m calling it: Tending My Garden (TMG). 🙂 Really, you reap what you sow and what better investment to make than in yourself.

I’m not just talking about physical health – I mean, that’s part of it for me, at least – but I’m talking about growing yourself into your best self.

I’m going to focus on 3 major points:

  1. Nutrition – what’s the point of taking care of yourself if you’re just going to abuse it with food?
  2. Working out – I am going to use a combination of weight training and cardio.
  3. Meditation – I don’t mean just sitting in a quiet room thinking. Mediation can happen while you’re doing anything that makes  you completely wholey happy.

I’m not an expert. The only thing I can tell you is how I’m going to do it. Everyone is different and what I’m doing for me may not be good for you. But I think we can all agree that eating a bit better, moving a bit more, and spending time doing things we like are all good ideas.

Unless you like doing heroin. I don’t think that is a good idea.

Anyway! Over the next couple days I will be banging out my little plan for everyone if you’re curious or if you want to participate just comment below. I am excited!

Thank you so much for reading my blog! It’s your support that keeps me chasing my passions and writing about it. With your contributions, you’re helping me pursue not only my true self, but 25% of the funds raised are donated to the SurfRider Foundation. It’s the small contributions that will also help fund the next trip to Hawaii in October 2017 as so to start connecting to our future there. Thank you all again so very much!

So, THIS Happened….

Let me tell you a little something about my cat, Tom N. Jerry.

We came home from a long weekend about 8 years ago when my oldest was about 7 months old. We opened the front door and out bounced this gray little fluffball that I don’t think was even 6 weeks old. Of course, I bring her in and a few hours later, the neighbors come by looking for their lost kitten. She is returned and life moves on.

About every week after that day, a little gray kitten kept coming over, looking for food. She was getting older but looking ragged and shot-out, and coming around more and more frequently. Continue reading

How I manifested $600+ for our trip

First, there has to be an understanding of what that means to manifest money. It doesn’t just come in the form of cash but also coupons, gifts, discounts, etc – there’s an unlimited number of ways money can come to you. 

As you have known, I’ve been trying to raise funds for my kids trip (for $600); yesterday I even posted how I felt a little let down by the people who already said would help but then didn’t. I was feeling like I was going to let my kids down. 

I had been posting on FB stuff to sell to help raise funds since mid march. One thing that’s been on there this whole time were a pair of crutches that I couldn’t unload. I lowered the price down to $10 but nothing. Well, I made my intention on Tuesday, Wednesday a lady called and said she wanted them for the list price of $15! Turned out I changed the price on all the groups I posted in except for the one this lady was on! Sweet! 

Then, my ex OUT OF NO WHERE wakes me up in the morning to give me a check for $200. He was mean when he gave it to me (“this is so you can feed the fucking kids so don’t spend it on bullshit!” Is what he actually yelled at me. But again, this money was completely unsolicited!). 

Then I get to my ma’s house last night and we are talking about our plan. I told her that I’m looking forward to all the on the beach time and hiking we’re going to be doing. She lets me know that my sister paid for a luau one night ($60 a person and I have 4 people = $240: bringing the manifest up to $455). She said my sister also paid for a tour of Honolulu ($30×4=$120+$455=$575)! I was like what?! I didn’t know all that!

After that, I was making arrangements for my friend to drive us to the airport – my Ma said she would pay for the parking and just leave the car at the airport ($575+$75=$650). THEN my Ma surprised us with pizza dinner last night when I was getting my things together to buy dinner ($650+$15= $665). 

Thank you thank you thank you!! 

I was sweating the fund raiser so much. Tuesday, when I made my intention, I said to myself, “fuck the fund raiser. It doesn’t matter if I raise money, as long as I get to be out in Hawaii with my sister. ” After that, all this abundance just came flooding in! 

I am so grateful for all that I have recieved! I get amazed every time of what can manifest. I am in awe of the Universe. 

I gotta get loading shit up for HAWAII! I will chat with you all in about a week. 

Thank you so much for reading my little blog! If you can contribute, it would be greatly appreciated! If you can’t, please share; maybe someone else can. Either way, I’m just grateful and thankful you stopped by to hang out with me. 

The Magic: Day 10 – Magic Dust

It’s not actual dust. The assignment is to be grateful (and express that gratitude) to the people who provide a service to you today.

Since I stay home 90% of the time, I don’t normally get to interact with adult people in the service industry. LOL Sounds kind of sad, doesn’t it? But I made it a point to save my chores for today just for this exercise!

So, I took in the recycling and chatted up the attendant who was lovely. Then went to turn in my little recycle receipt and was grateful to the attendant there – who was not a Mrs Sunshine if you know what I mean. Then got gas and tried really hard to be grateful for everyone.  It was a little tough because of a girl trying to raise funds for her school. I tried to tell her that I wish I could help but I was trying to raise my own funds; she was just kind of shitty about it. But I was grateful for the cashier at the gas station, then grateful to/for the lady who runs my kids’ after school program. THEN I was grateful and thankful for the cashier at the WIC office.

I really try to be grateful – not just polite – when I interact with people in general before The Magic. I have little tolerance for bad service, but it’s rare that I even get bad service. Today it felt good to continue my little trend. 🙂

Tomorrow’s assignment you have to read about the day before because it starts as soon as you wake up. From the moment you wake up until you are done getting dressed, say thank you for everything you touch and use. You can say it in your head so you don’t look like a crazy person talking to your iron.

I have a big day tomorrow too because my BFF is having her baby shower so I’ll be over there in the AM working on the set up.

Thank you so much for reading my little blog! I am trying to raise funds for my kids’ trip and if you can help, your contribution would be hugely appreciated! If you can’t, would you please share my posts – maybe someone else will be able to help out. Thank you again!