This Weekend: YES!

Well, I've been at my ma's for a couple weeks now, and pretty shut in. I went on 2 job interviews and run the kids to their swim classes but that's about it. But then, there's this weekend.

Rocka-beautiful

This weekend, a local city here is having the annual SwingFest! I am SO EXCITED! It's music and dancing and vendors… I have been looking forward to this for like a month!

When I first got wind that it was coming up, I was stoked! But that was before I moved to my ma's. I thought I would have some kind of help from him; that fell flat.

Another complication is a friend of mine from high school is in town and I really want to visit. No money for that either. ALSO, it means I'm going to have to get dressed at like 8 am …

What about the kids?

When I thought to attend the SwingFest, I assumed I would just have them tag along. Continuously exposing them to actual music can only benefit them. But out of the clear, blue sky….

My sister-in-law called and said she wanted them for the whole weekend! Really? All of them? Are you sure? Alas yes, that brave soul wants to have all 300 of my kids spend the night at her house for the weekend. Sweet!

The Weekend's Plan

I'm hoping she will pick up the kids tonight and not Saturday morning. Either way, I'll get dressed, rush out to meet my friend at noon, then be at the SwingFest at 3 (it starts at 2pm).

I'm going to gather all my 411 and post on here everything 🙂 so if you guys like that kind of shit, you're welcome! And if you don't like Rockabilly… well, you're just wrong. 😘

Thank you all so much for all the support! You all keep me going after my dreams.

5 Ways I am Changing My World

As you all know, I’ve been going through a bit of a shake up. The ending of my 16-year relationship, trying to maintain some type of civilly between myself and my kids’ dad, fighting my worst frienemy, ‘Depression’, and having to move back in with my ma where my OCD/ sociopath of a sister lives, has presented more than a challenge and added a huge source of stress.

My world has fallen apart. I am (metaphorically) dying.

I have two competing options in my head right now:

  1. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues  – why fight it? Give in to the depression, lie in the bed all day, and do nothing. Eventually, things will sort themselves out.  Eat the fucking brownie; it always has loved me. And I it.
  2. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues – why fight it? Why waste the energy right now on things I can’t control and focus on things I can control? I can’t stop my sister from being a total fucking nut-job. I can control how much I am exposed to her insanity. I can’t control the fact that I have to live at my ma’s right now. I can control how long that has to be by sorting out my options, finding a job, etc. I can’t control how my ex is going to behave, but I can control how I react to that behavior.

I decided to choose option number two. FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL. So, I decided I am going to change my world. Here are 5 ways I’m doing it.  Continue reading

The Living Aloha Campaign

I said I would let you know once it was live so here it is! We are running a t-shirt campaign for the next 3 weeks to help spread the word about Living Aloha!! I know! I am SO EXCITED! It’s though Bonfire  <– there’s the link. 🙂 The profits go towards maintaining this blog, moving things towards ‘My True Self’ and of course 25% goes to the surfrider foundation to help protect our delicate coastlines.

Get a great t-shirt, help someone out. How great is that??

Thank you so much for reading my blog! It’s your support that keeps me chasing my passions and writing about it. With your contributions, you’re helping me pursue not only my true self, but 25% of the funds raised are donated to the SurfRider Foundation. It’s the small contributions that will also help fund the next trip to Hawaii in October 2017 as so to start connecting to our future there. Thank you all again so very much!

Let me tell you about a hero

Things have been tight – you all know that. I have been spending a decent amount of time at the McDonald’s so the kids can play, I can get my dollar diet coke, and I can work on my resume and job searches in peace.

Since it’s quite a bit tough, I had just enough today for my drink (so we don’t get kicked out for loitering), and the kids got their water cups.

Things were winding down, and the kids whining for dinner, so I started packing up my things to take them home for dinner when I came face to face with a hero. Continue reading

Living Aloha: A Brilliant Philosophy

While in Hawaii, I was greeted and treated by the most wonderful people. They were open and wonderful to a stranger (me) and was unconditional with their kindness. Not to mention my brilliant sister and my brilliant brother-in-law… they are truly an example of the best people I have ever known. There is one thing that has really stayed with me: Aloha. Continue reading

Depression Crafts: The Timer

I’ve been fighting depression for years now. There were times where I wouldn’t shower for weeks. I was a zombie. Though I am on Prozac now, I still struggle with some stuff. I shower now – on a regular basis (yay me) – and I take the kids out to the park pretty often. The Prozac really is pulling it’s weight here with me, but I still struggle with motivation, consistency, and what I call the ‘fuck it’ solution.

In this time, as I’ve been getting mentally stronger, I have been making a list of things that make me happy. I don’t mean like funnel cake happy, but little things that I can do every day to remind myself that life doesn’t suck, it’s mostly the depression. One thing I always enjoyed was doing my make-up.

In this case, I have to thank Jeremy Renner for the inspiration for today’s craft. What you may not know is he used to be a make-up artist. I didn’t know either! Then he was on Ellen… THEN this beautiful meme came out and found it’s way to me.  Continue reading