This Weekend: YES!

Well, I've been at my ma's for a couple weeks now, and pretty shut in. I went on 2 job interviews and run the kids to their swim classes but that's about it. But then, there's this weekend.

Rocka-beautiful

This weekend, a local city here is having the annual SwingFest! I am SO EXCITED! It's music and dancing and vendors… I have been looking forward to this for like a month!

When I first got wind that it was coming up, I was stoked! But that was before I moved to my ma's. I thought I would have some kind of help from him; that fell flat.

Another complication is a friend of mine from high school is in town and I really want to visit. No money for that either. ALSO, it means I'm going to have to get dressed at like 8 am …

What about the kids?

When I thought to attend the SwingFest, I assumed I would just have them tag along. Continuously exposing them to actual music can only benefit them. But out of the clear, blue sky….

My sister-in-law called and said she wanted them for the whole weekend! Really? All of them? Are you sure? Alas yes, that brave soul wants to have all 300 of my kids spend the night at her house for the weekend. Sweet!

The Weekend's Plan

I'm hoping she will pick up the kids tonight and not Saturday morning. Either way, I'll get dressed, rush out to meet my friend at noon, then be at the SwingFest at 3 (it starts at 2pm).

I'm going to gather all my 411 and post on here everything 🙂 so if you guys like that kind of shit, you're welcome! And if you don't like Rockabilly… well, you're just wrong. 😘

Thank you all so much for all the support! You all keep me going after my dreams.

5 Ways I am Changing My World

As you all know, I’ve been going through a bit of a shake up. The ending of my 16-year relationship, trying to maintain some type of civilly between myself and my kids’ dad, fighting my worst frienemy, ‘Depression’, and having to move back in with my ma where my OCD/ sociopath of a sister lives, has presented more than a challenge and added a huge source of stress.

My world has fallen apart. I am (metaphorically) dying.

I have two competing options in my head right now:

  1. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues  – why fight it? Give in to the depression, lie in the bed all day, and do nothing. Eventually, things will sort themselves out.  Eat the fucking brownie; it always has loved me. And I it.
  2. There is little I can do at this juncture to facilitate a resolution of many of my issues – why fight it? Why waste the energy right now on things I can’t control and focus on things I can control? I can’t stop my sister from being a total fucking nut-job. I can control how much I am exposed to her insanity. I can’t control the fact that I have to live at my ma’s right now. I can control how long that has to be by sorting out my options, finding a job, etc. I can’t control how my ex is going to behave, but I can control how I react to that behavior.

I decided to choose option number two. FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL. So, I decided I am going to change my world. Here are 5 ways I’m doing it.  Continue reading

Progress, Not Perfection

I really try everyday to keep things moving forward. This break-up but still living in the same house really wears you down after a while. Imagine: living with the person you are in love with and have been in love with the last 16 years, but knowing not only do they not love you back, they think and treat you like a piece of shit. Bonus is that you still have to be stable and level for your kids.

And I’ve been living through that since January. It sucks.  Continue reading