Depression Crafts: The Timer

I’ve been fighting depression for years now. There were times where I wouldn’t shower for weeks. I was a zombie. Though I am on Prozac now, I still struggle with some stuff. I shower now – on a regular basis (yay me) – and I take the kids out to the park pretty often. The Prozac really is pulling it’s weight here with me, but I still struggle with motivation, consistency, and what I call the ‘fuck it’ solution.

In this time, as I’ve been getting mentally stronger, I have been making a list of things that make me happy. I don’t mean like funnel cake happy, but little things that I can do every day to remind myself that life doesn’t suck, it’s mostly the depression. One thing I always enjoyed was doing my make-up.

In this case, I have to thank Jeremy Renner for the inspiration for today’s craft. What you may not know is he used to be a make-up artist. I didn’t know either! Then he was on Ellen… THEN this beautiful meme came out and found it’s way to me.  Continue reading

Introducing: Tending My Garden

I don’t want to hate everything; I want to feel like myself.

Have you looked in the mirror only to be like, “How the fuck did I get here?” I do believe that your physical life is just a reflection of what kind of state your inner self is in. I don’t know what you call that – or even if it has a definitive name – but that’s what I think.

I also know that fighting depression is one of the hardest things someone can do. Drugs, drinking, are both things that are very difficult to fight. I have come to understand those things are used as ways to self-treat mental conditions, depression for instance. See what I did there?

Well, I want to fight back. I’ve been on prozac for 5 months now and I’m feeling pretty strong, emotionally. I want to move forward with my life. I have a long road ahead of me but I’m going to set things in motion today. I cannot wait. I’m going to start making this a regular subject in my blog. And if there is someone (or someones) who want to do the same thing, cheers! We’ll do that together.

img_4588

And to make it a little more interesting, I’m going to add in little prizes here and there for weekly goals. I thought tthat I would share that with everyone. I’m calling it: Tending My Garden (TMG). 🙂 Really, you reap what you sow and what better investment to make than in yourself.

I’m not just talking about physical health – I mean, that’s part of it for me, at least – but I’m talking about growing yourself into your best self.

I’m going to focus on 3 major points:

  1. Nutrition – what’s the point of taking care of yourself if you’re just going to abuse it with food?
  2. Working out – I am going to use a combination of weight training and cardio.
  3. Meditation – I don’t mean just sitting in a quiet room thinking. Mediation can happen while you’re doing anything that makes  you completely wholey happy.

I’m not an expert. The only thing I can tell you is how I’m going to do it. Everyone is different and what I’m doing for me may not be good for you. But I think we can all agree that eating a bit better, moving a bit more, and spending time doing things we like are all good ideas.

Unless you like doing heroin. I don’t think that is a good idea.

Anyway! Over the next couple days I will be banging out my little plan for everyone if you’re curious or if you want to participate just comment below. I am excited!

Thank you so much for reading my blog! It’s your support that keeps me chasing my passions and writing about it. With your contributions, you’re helping me pursue not only my true self, but 25% of the funds raised are donated to the SurfRider Foundation. It’s the small contributions that will also help fund the next trip to Hawaii in October 2017 as so to start connecting to our future there. Thank you all again so very much!

How My Sister Makes Me A Good Parent…

Or at least better than I was yesterday.

My kids are a little nuts. Something that’s a problem in our home is consistancy. I say one thing, their dad says something else and then the kids learn (have learned – and well) to go to him when they want easy and go to me when they want emotional support. I hate that.

My sister (who is a briliant family therapist) turned me onto a program made by a doctor called 1-2-3 Magic! and it makes one hell of a difference. Continue reading

5 Things they don’t tell you when you have kids

Kids are great. There’s something wonderful from having your kids come around you and just love you.

Kids are nuts. And if you’re one of those people who don’t like chaos, don’t have kids. No, having kids is not like having a dog. It’s like having a kleptomaniac octopus who cries all the time. And throws things. And hugs you.

2014-02-18-octopus-hates-paparazzi_gallerylarge

Continue reading

So, THIS Happened….

Let me tell you a little something about my cat, Tom N. Jerry.

We came home from a long weekend about 8 years ago when my oldest was about 7 months old. We opened the front door and out bounced this gray little fluffball that I don’t think was even 6 weeks old. Of course, I bring her in and a few hours later, the neighbors come by looking for their lost kitten. She is returned and life moves on.

About every week after that day, a little gray kitten kept coming over, looking for food. She was getting older but looking ragged and shot-out, and coming around more and more frequently. Continue reading

Hawaii day 4

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Hawaii has a wonderful atmosphere to honor those military personnel who lost their lives. It was really wonderful. 

Today turned out to be a great self-discovery day. My sister, her family, and my family all went on a hike. I use her term ‘hike’ when it was really ‘the journey through hell.’ It was a mile but straight up! my brother in law did it in fucking flip flops so now I’m convinced he’s a superhero. 

Turns out I’m a bit more out of shape than my previous ideas. 


We got to the top damn it! Totally worth it. And there was a pleasant surprise waiting at the top: a World War II anti-aircraft bunker! It was in incredible condition! 


That’s me in the pink plaid. It was brilliant! I became very aware of my physical condition this trip. Maybe it was Devine intervention to really get me to accept my current status, but while in the bunker, there was graffiti that said, “Big Laura.” 


I thought it would be neat to find my name in all that graffiti – I wasn’t nearly as excited once I found it. But the first step in solving any problem is admitting that there is one so– that’s the universe showing me that there is a problem. 

I got some great one on one time with my sister so far. ❤️ I love her so much and it sucks being so far away from her. 


But she made me realize that I can do anything. I can climb a mountain in Hawaii if I want to! It’s just a matter of continuing after your body wants to quit. 

On this hike from hell, I wanted to give up 8,000 times. My sister wouldn’t let me. I could rest and I could grab water but I couldn’t just quit. Her husband and the kids were all helpful and encouraging and thoughtful. They showed me not just what I means to be kind but what it means to take no shit. I didn’t know there was a better way to take no shit – I thought I was queen of that! 

Over all, the trip has been surpassing every point of bliss for me. My kids are a little home sick. And my Ma has a hard time with all the humidity but other than that, it’s been an amazing experience! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for tomorrow!! 

I’m heading to bed. It’s 1015pm here and I am ready! 

Thank you so much for reading my blog! Please, if you can, consider making a small $5 donation to help me keep my little blog going because you all know my story. If you can’t donate, please share my blog – maybe someone else can! Thank you thank you thank you!